God-The-Father loves me more than anyone in the entire world, except God, that’s what he said. God comes first, no matter what. That is what else he said.
I am sitting in his lap with his strong arms gently holding me in a close hug. His deep voice soft as he pets my hair and tells me of his loves. God and then us; his family. To help me understand what he means he brings up the ancient law. It is called God’s perfect law and it tells us what He required of a loyal servant in the days of the prophets of old.
“If a girl is found to have sinned in a sexual way she is to be stoned to death by the entire community.” He tells me. “Girls like my hippy sisters, who are running wild, having sex all over the place and Disobeying their father.” His tone grows harsh for the first time. His face twists in disgust and he spits these words about my aunts.
“Back then, with God’s People, the law said everyone,” he says, “was to put such a girl outside the town. Then they were to pick up big rocks and throw them at her until she died. Not only that,” his eyes are intense and bore into mine. He wants to be sure I understand what he is saying.
He pretends to pick up a large rock. “The girl’s father and mother were required, by God’s Perfect Law, to throw the first stone.” He looks at me with hard eyes and he mimes throwing a fist sized rock at me as I sit in his lap. “Think about that.” He concludes watching me quietly for a moment, his eyes piercing. He is seeking to plant deep in my heart what was required of ‘God’s’ people from 5,000 years ago.
My blood runs cold but I do not dare move. My face is carefully still as I think about the older kids and what they have been talking me into doing.
“God does not currently tell us to stone people to death. Right now, He is telling us to Disfellowship the sinning daughter. Disfellowshipping is like stoning, it means you would be dead to me. But if God were to change his mind and go back to the stoning requirement I would do it. Such is my Loyalty to God. I want you, my daughter, to understand this principle and where I stand.”
I understand. He has convinced me that he would do it. I believe he loves me and I believe that would not stop him from killing me, literally or figuratively if God told him to.